As my inner voice frightens me, I feel numb and phlegmatic. Like my fate has disowned me. Like I have lost my ultimate chance to feel love. Love is now, but, a fantasy to me. Like an unfulfilled dream of a girl who is youthful enough to still believe in a fairytale. Like an incomplete story of a paranoid waiting and wanting to be completed. Like a condemned soul yearning to free itself from a curse.
Can’t you see cupids have denied you the splendor of love? Why close your eyes to see the truth when you can see it with your eyes wide open? Why wait for the impossible? Why risk witnessing a frozen moment of your lifeless future?
Its over for you.
Love is a fictitious emotion like the fanciful characters in a drama. For a moment you think its alive, that you can also be in it, and weave your teensy weensy dreams. But truth is, its as transient as these moments rushing away. It spares you from being hopeless but it cannot be lived.
If there is anything like true love. It saddens me to discover it has given up on me. And, I secretly in the chambers of my heart lament.
As I cry, I feel the morbid pain. I imagine my world falling. I sense the lack of inspiration. I experience the death of an innocent inside me. I feel an unceasing heartache. I feel cheated by life. I find myself so fragile to endure the agony of not being loved. I hear the noise of my soul breaking apart. I see a reason to erase my existence.
And..with great sorrow..I give up..
